There are a lot of things going on with my life right now. With all that's about to happen over the next few months, I should be really excited.I mean, I'm pretty much starting a new life, that of a full-time college student. I'm really excited about going to Benedictine in the Fall, and everything that goes with it.

However, and this is where it gets weird, there is this deep dark cloud sitting over me right now that I can't shake for the life of me. I'm about at my wits-end emotionally, and I don't know why. Perhaps it's that I'm scared of the changes that are about to happen and what the future holds. Or I know that I will miss my family and friends here. How am I going to pay for all this? Will I be able to keep up with school? Will I have a job of some sort? All of these worries and others are hanging out in my head. It's too loud in there right now.

Or is it because I'm sick? I have missed a couple of days in the last few weeks because I was having flu-like symptoms. I just stayed home and rested. However, maybe I am still fighting this a little too much to be out and about, and it is messing with my emotions. Not sure...

I'm also worried about my Mom. She has so many problems with her lungs, and the doctors don't know what's wrong with her. Is she going to be around for my graduation? I hope and pray that she will be.

I want to be happy, but, try as I might, I can't really look at positive things in a good light. Everything is dark: black and red pervades my thoughts.

Damn, I'm starting to sound like an Emo.

I can't keep going like this. Something really positive needs to happen to turn everything around.

Please pray for me.