Out Of Mind - Back In Five

... too quiet. Most everybody is gone for the summer. Only a handful stuck around for the summer. Most of them I don't really know. Of course, there's Brandon and Kat, but they tend to drift off into their own little world, even when their with me. Still, if they weren't here, I'd probably go crazy. It's probably pointless to say, but I miss everybody. It's starting to bring me down again, even though I am fighting to not let it. If anybody actually reads this, talk to me sometime. I'd really appreciate it.

Speaking of missing folks, I really miss Grandpa. My mother's dad passed away on February 13th, 2010. It was a Saturday morning, and I remember getting the news walking to work. Later that night I had plans to go O'Malley's, a local Irish brewpub. I stuck to those plans, and had my own personal wake for Grandpa. They didn't even have a funeral for him, so there wasn't a reason for me to go home. A funeral might have helped though, because I still hurt and get choked up thinking about him. Funerals give closure, and allow us to say one last goodbye. May he rest in peace.

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Classes started up on Wednesday morning. Already they are off to a fast start. There seems to be more reading in the two classes I'm taking over the summer than in most of the classes I had last semester! Although so far it isn't impossible. I'm taking business ethics and history of Jazz. The Jazz class is really interesting so far, while the ethics class is a lot of stuff I've heard before. The really irritating part is that the classes start at 8am in the morning, five days a week. I do not like 8am classes.

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I have so much I want to say, but no idea how to put it in words.

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There's a certain girl attending school here at BC, and I think I may have fallen for her (in spite of my head telling my heart to cool it because it'll only hurt later). The problem is, however, that she probably doesn't have the same feelings for me. She's not here for the summer, although if she was, it probably wouldn't make a difference. She's a great girl, and way out of my class. Then again, most girls are. I just wish I knew what she was thinking or feeling so I would have an idea of what to do. As it is, I have no idea, and even less hope.

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Hope. That's an interesting word. One of the three theological virtues. Probably the one I lack the most. I tend to despair a lot. Dreams and schemes seem to be something for everybody else, but not for me. Whether it is trying to make plans for lunch or for ten years down the road, it just doesn't seem to work. In the words of Mitch Hedberg: "I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm jut gonna ask where their goin, and hook up with them later."

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On a bit of a lighter note, I might start doing reviews of different foods and drinks. I'm not a culinary expert even in a long shot, but I do like food. It' might be fun.

I'm headed to college in two months! Time is flying and I still have so much to do!!!

Last weekend I headed up to North Dakota with my family to attend the Gress Family Reunion 2009. This get-together happens every three years, where all of the family meets up for a celebration in my dad's home town of Richardton, North Dakota. For a few days, everybody comes together and has fun with great food and fun activities. The crowd is usually not small either, as dad is the youngest of 14, and all of the children and grandchildren of the brothers and sisters are invited. We literally 'take over' the old dorm building of the Assumption Abbey. This year was no exception to the fun, as the whole family seemed to enjoy themselves.

The end of work at Aquinas and More is also coming really fast. The original quit date was going to be August 7th, but that may change shortly to July 24th. We're just waiting for word from management. However, I won;t be done completely with the store, as I will be working part-time on data entry remotely from school.

I also got a job working in dining services at the school. It remains to be seen as to what exactly I'll be doing, but at least I have that little guarantee of a bit of an income. Plus, since it is in dining services, that means I'll have more of an opportunity to get a better paying job during the summer than just fast-food (I hope).

We should be finding out in less than two weeks if Jimmy and I are sharing a room. The announcements are supposed to go out on July 1st.

I'll have to write more again later, as I need to get back to work.

There are a lot of things going on with my life right now. With all that's about to happen over the next few months, I should be really excited.I mean, I'm pretty much starting a new life, that of a full-time college student. I'm really excited about going to Benedictine in the Fall, and everything that goes with it.

However, and this is where it gets weird, there is this deep dark cloud sitting over me right now that I can't shake for the life of me. I'm about at my wits-end emotionally, and I don't know why. Perhaps it's that I'm scared of the changes that are about to happen and what the future holds. Or I know that I will miss my family and friends here. How am I going to pay for all this? Will I be able to keep up with school? Will I have a job of some sort? All of these worries and others are hanging out in my head. It's too loud in there right now.

Or is it because I'm sick? I have missed a couple of days in the last few weeks because I was having flu-like symptoms. I just stayed home and rested. However, maybe I am still fighting this a little too much to be out and about, and it is messing with my emotions. Not sure...

I'm also worried about my Mom. She has so many problems with her lungs, and the doctors don't know what's wrong with her. Is she going to be around for my graduation? I hope and pray that she will be.

I want to be happy, but, try as I might, I can't really look at positive things in a good light. Everything is dark: black and red pervades my thoughts.

Damn, I'm starting to sound like an Emo.

I can't keep going like this. Something really positive needs to happen to turn everything around.

Please pray for me.

It's been a while since I was on to update anybody who is actually reading this. A lot has happened since my last post.

Back in January, James and I visited Benedictine College in Atchison, KS, and decided that was the college I wanted to attend. I filled out the application letter, and, on Ash Wednesday, received the acceptance letter. I am now planning going there in the fall. This is something I really needed to do to get my life on track. James is still waiting to hear from them.

Christmas time flew by pretty fast, and I managed to survive it. We didn't do as well as hoped at the store, but still managed to do fairly well. I'm still pretty busy at work, doing both the receiving and the inventory management (something that could be its own position).

Bowling has kinda slacked off a lot, and I have been taking up more pool than bowling lately. I did manage to hit a 196 average and 589 series one of the last times I went. After that, I had a bad night and haven't gone bowling since then. I might try to go again next week some time.

I am taking a Java programming class at the local community college, and I may be in over my head. The concept itself isn't too hard, but the application is kicking my behind.

Now I am trying to fill out the FAFSA application so I don't have to pay quite as much for college. Hopefully it will be nice to me. I need to get my housing application, work application, and other things in to BC so that everything becomes more official.

James launched a new forum called Catholic and Homeschooled, and I have been trying to learn some of the scripting stuff to help him out. We'll see how that turns out.

So that's enough boring updates for now. I will try to be more faithful to writing stuff here soon.

Saturday mornings in our house usually don't vary much. If there isn't something special going on, then it's chore day. We live on about 5 acres a few miles out of town, so we have a very small farm operation going, to the tune of a couple dozen chickens and a herd of about a dozen goats. These creatures require a bit of care, usually starting at sunup. We have to milk some of the goats and feed them, feed the chickens and gather eggs, and check on the other assortments of animals. Breakfast usually comes next, with generous amounts of coffee. Then the real work begins. The house needs to be cleaned (or at least picked up), goat stalls and chicken stall cleaned out, the grass cut (during the summer), fencing (also during the summer), and any other wide variety of chores for upkeep or improvement of our little spread. This usually lasts us most of the day, and come Saturday afternoon, we get to relax with dinner and other activities.

What kind of regular things do you do in your household? Does your family have their regular chores they do every week, or do you get really early to watch cartoons? Whatever your Saturday ritual is, I hope you enjoy it and have a Blessed Day.

*(Also posted on Catholic and Homeschooled)

Well, it seems recently that everyone just wants to feed me. At first it started out being just a few young girls I know, but then it turned into everybody. Almost everyday I go and somebody is trying to give me more food. It's quite frankly, weird. I am beginning to think you guys are just fattening me up to eat me.

On a more geeky end I have spent the last few days working on a 2d mmo. Nothing big, and I don't ever plan on putting it online. Just as a small fad kinda ordeal. Last night I figured out how to make a sprite sheet for items with paperdoll capabilities, so I am adding all the items I can into one sheet.

On a more regular end, work is starting to seem to slow down some. This could be good, because I think it is more in my ability to keep up rather than things slowing down.

And here are some names I have been called today. Very strange....

Cute Fluffy thing (you guys are going to eat me aren't you) and Chivalrous Gentleman

The latter was actually kinda cool. I like that. The first isn't much of a change from my usual. I have gotten lovable teddy bear, and crazy things like that. Never Chivalrous Gentleman. It makes me sound good or something.

Well, James out.

Thanksgiving Proclamation

City of New York, October 3, 1789

WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANKSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted; for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.

--George Washington

I recently posted this on a forum after receiving an email telling guys how they should treat girls in certain conditions. Yes, it told a girl what to do, but it's purpose was to tell guys how to act. I have to completely disagree with it though. Most people don't think I have luck, but trust me, I know what I am doing when it comes to ladies. So here it is. Keep in mind the first response to this was "Whatever girl gets you is gonna be lucky. Even if they are going to be compared to dancing hippos"

"The OFFICIAL Laws of Flirting:

 FLIRTING RULES
 Girls: When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold

Guys: Automatically move closer to her. (if you're stupid, then you'll either say 'Me too' or you'll give her your jacket...don't)

Girls: During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder Guys: Lift her chin up and kiss her.

Guys:When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, Give her a kiss on the lips, and tell her you love her too...and MEAN IT!!!!

Girls: When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat. Guys: Whisper in her ear; 'The stars are beautiful...and so are you. Then link your hands with hers. :] aww

 Now make a wish about something you would like to happen  between you and your crush or love..."

Now here is my response.

"Well, girls can tell the guy they are cold, but guys shouldn't just cuddle up with them. First, put your coat on them, then cuddle up with them. Duh, double points there.

Guys, don't kiss her like that, especially in front people in the movie theatre. People around you are trying to watch a movie! The last thing you want is a kiss obsessed gf as well. I suggest you wait tell you are married, but if you can't don't kiss her all the time. Every once and a while, or it won't be a special thing anymore.

If it's far enough along ok, if she is telling you she loves you before you know her very well, then you probably have a girl that could care less about you. Remember, love is patient. wink3.gif Also, just my opinion. Kiss her on the cheek. Even though women seem to really like kissing on the lips, they might like you better if you tell her you love her but have patience. Blood thirsty guys go around kissing their gf on the lips all the time, and it is not a pretty sight.

For the last one don't whisper that in her ear. It's not original enough.... You need something that won't only tell her that you love her, but will also make her laugh. Come on "The stars are beautiful and so are you!" Man.... used by everyone. What you do use to make her laugh and feel loved is really dependent on the girl. Some girls you could say something like "You are so beautiful that I can't peel my eyes to watch the dancing hippos over there." Yeah, you sound stupid but she laughs and knows how you feel about her at the same time. Some girls like that. If she isn't the right girl to say that to then try something still original like "Wow, I almost couldn't distenguish(sp) you from those beautiful stars up there." laughoutloud.gif

Really though, you need to be original. Just my thoughts, don't know how much of the world agrees with me."

We picked the new President of the United States, the new Commander-In-Chief. America has made her choice, and I personally think it was a bad one. However, now that we have made this choice, we got to live with it. We do still have a country to take care of.

I really do wish Obama luck and smooth sailing for his presidency. I hope that God gives him the grace to make the right decisions for the country (and for those of you who know me, I am not being sarcastic this time). May God still bless this great country.

Please pray for our country and our government. They're gonna need all the divine help they can get.